Everyone is weird to someone else, that’s just the way the world works. Your normal is someone else’s nightmare. Especially when it comes to house rules. No shoes in the house might be normal for me, but may be absurd to you. But sometimes house rules go above and beyond the usual and become just plain insane. Take these rules, for example.
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40. All that over a chair
My friend David was a tough guy… which was all the more cool that he chose to hang out with a scrawny nerd like me.
We went back to his house, once (and only once)… which was literally 4 houses down the street from me.
It was a small, normal house, with a small comfortable living room.
When I plopped into the big easy chair, David went white as a ghost.
“That’s my dad’s chair”. (pause)
“No one’s allowed to sit there”. (pause)
“Ever”.
“If he sees you in his chair, he’ll bring the belt”.
Well, I was a small kid, but even I knew that some other person’s parent wasn’t going to be allowed to hit ME with his belt.
So I said, nonchalantly, “So what? He can’t hit me”.
My tough guy friend (and, truth be told, a bit of a bully to other kids) just got paler and paler.
Then he said (very quietly), “He might not wallop you. but he’ll wallop me instead”.
I hopped off that chair like a shot.
39. Electricity is super dangerous
I had a friend growing up who wasn’t allowed to plug anything in so basically anyone under 16 wasn’t allowed to touch plugs at her house.
I think we were 10 and I was definitely allowed to plug and unplug things at my own home, so this was really baffling to me.
38. Those are some good friends
Growing up, myself (and often with other friends) would do sleepovers at a buddy’s house. He was a bedwetter and wore diapers to bed, but we were cool with it… Never any teasing or anything.
His mother would demand that we ALL wear diapers to bed when sleeping over, which was odd, but it made our buddy even more uncomfortable about his situation.
Poor dude would apologize constantly about the fact that we had to use them too.
37. You chose… Poorly
Neighbors house for breakfast. They put powdered sugar and syrup on the table for waffles.
I thought, OH YEAH I only get syrup at my house and douse the waffles with powdered sugar.
I pick up the syrup.
“We only use one or the other at this house,” The mom says.
I ate dry and tasteless powder sugar covered waffles. that day.
36. We only drink milk out of a flask at my house
My cousins always had weird rules about which cups were acceptable to use for which beverages at their house.
I can’t tell you how many times I would go to get a cup of water just to have one of them appear out of thin air beside me and scream “THAT’S A SMOOTHIE CUP WHAT ARE YOU DOING”!
, or go to pour myself a cup of milk only to be berated for using a juice cup. I’ve brought it up to my siblings and apparently it always made them really uncomfortable too, and it’s given us all some degree of anxiety about using the kitchen at other people’s houses.
35. You would think that someone this insane would never allow a dog in the house in the first place
My friend’s mother had some borderline obsessive rules. No walking on the carpets. You must remain on the strips of clear plastic carpet protectors instead, which were arranged to create walkways around the house.
Guests must wear slippers, there were spares if you didn’t bring your own. The leather sofas must remain completely covered in sheets to protect them.
Even the dog was expected to follow these carpet protector paths and was constantly being told off for stepping off them.
I understand wanting to keep your carpets and furniture nice but this was crazy.
You couldn’t even see them under all this ugly protective stuff. Plus I nearly fell down the stairs wearing oversized slippers and tripping on this protective plastic mat that was draped down the staircase.
I was also constantly getting in trouble for not following the correct route around the room and instead just walking straight to where I wanted to be.
She would literally check for footprints on the carpet.
I don’t think it was a cleanliness thing as their house wasn’t spotlessly clean. I think it was more about preserving the value of everything, their house had a lot of cabinets filled with old ornaments and junk his mother has certain would be valuable one day.
It was purely his mother’s rules as well, his dad was pretty cool about it and even got us all in trouble when he drew a picture of a schlong on the carpet once. His parents ended up getting divorced a few years later.
34. Banished to the shadow realm
I live with my grandmother and our house has 2 bathrooms. 1 bathroom is her bathroom exclusively and the other bathroom is everyone else’s bathroom. If you use her bathroom you’re shunned from seeing her or being in her home for life.
My cousin and her 3 kids (her great-grandchildren) have been banned from seeing my grandmother ever again because we completely forgot to tell my cousin’s ex-husband about the bathroom rule.
It’s not a loss, cousin and kids are better off without her.
33. Way to ruin a friendship, mom
I grew up in a rural area. The neighbors across the street’s house was the closest.
The next friend was at least a mile down the road. The big rule was that we were not allowed inside without their kids being present and had to be watched at all times.
Once we were playing on the swing set and I had to pee. The kid said “just go in through the slider in the basement and use the bathroom.
Nobody will notice”. So little 9 year old me, gets into the doorway take off my shoes. Slowly make my way to the bathroom. I get the door almost closed as 4 fingers spring around from outside and rip the door open.
It was his mom and she was absolutely infuriated at the fact that I was in their house without their kid. She escorted me back outside, slammed the door shut and locked it behind me.
At this point, I was ready to pee my pants. So I went out back behind their barn and started to pee. At that moment his little 7-year-old sister comes around the corner and sees what I’m doing.
We make eye contact, she doesn’t say a word, then turns and runs to the house screaming for her mom and dad.
My family and their family had been friends for a solid 10 years at this point.
I was never allowed over again and my dad refused to hear what they had to say. I only ever spoke to the kids on the bus and at school.
To this day, I think about those times and how absolutely ridiculous they were being.
32. Prepare to vomit
I was probably 10 or 11, stayed all night with a new friend for the first time.
Her family seemed normal, we had fun. Got up the next morning, they’re all 4 in the kitchen at the table eating cereal together. So wholesome.
Her mom gets up, prepares a bowl for me, super nice of her. I eat it, then try to be nice in return and pour my leftover milk down the sink.
Mom stops me and hands me a partially full gallon jug; “no need to waste! pour it in the cereal milk jug”. I vividly l recall how nauseated I was when I realized the milk I had just consumed was recycled.
I never went back.
31. You should always know where your towel is
They all shared a towel after showering. Like one towel for everyone, for one or two days. When I visited I asked where the towels were so I could shower after the pool they looked at me like I had two heads.
Explained the towel sharing situation, because “you’re clean when you dry off so it’s still clean”!
30. I wonder what could have possibly made the man so stressed that he had a heart attack
I’m a medic, so we go into people’s homes every day.
We had a cardiac arrest, so we were working a man, and the wife was having a fit about the mess we were making.
Yes, there was some garbage from the pads, needles, meds, but we put all of it into our jump bag.
She was screaming at us about it. I told her that her husband was very sick and we were doing everything we could to help.
She said she didn’t care if he died as long as we didn’t make a mess.
29. What is “a bunch of crazy people”
I was yelled at for quickly blurting out the question to a $200 jeopardy answer.
Apparently, they played the game quietly, individually tallying scores. No problem, I was handed a pen and paper and I played their game. I think I am doing pretty well after jeopardy and double jeopardy, eyeing everyone else…I wanted to impress them with my vast knowledge and high score.
So I wager all of my money in final jeopardy because it’s a category I am familiar with. Back from commercial, soon as Trebek finished answer they all yell out what they thought was the question.
Apparently, it’s only the first person to yell out the correct question in final jeopardy that his/her wager counts. Psychos. I would have disowned them if they weren’t family.
28. Quite odd
My grandparents had a very specific order about how food should be eaten.
We’re a big English family and tea would be served at 5 pm or so, after lunch at 1 pm. Plates and dishes would be placed on the dining room table all at once, but, could only be consumed in the correct order.
Sandwiches first, then sausage rolls/assorted savories, then sweet foods. It’s only so strange, because after my generation (16 of us) my grandmother now couldn’t care less, and all the rules are out of the window, especially for great grandchildren and our spouses.
We’re just pretty bitter that we would get such a telling off for eating a sausage roll before a sandwich, since now apparently you can have chocolate biscuits before 2 pm. Anarchy.
27. It’s pretty well known that Jesus hated shorts
I was in a foster home from ages 5 to 7. They were religious and the rules were as follows: women couldn’t cut their hair, wear short sleeves after 5 years of age, could only wear dresses and nightgowns (even when swimming on vacation), and nobody could enter the home if wearing shorts.
The upside was the whole family ate dinner together every night and there was always dessert. As a kid coming from a home where food was not aplenty, I thought it was wonderful.
I’ve stayed in touch over the years and went to the moms 80th birthday party last summer.
Lots of people were there in shorts, so the rules have obviously been relaxed over the years.
One daughter even had hair a little below her shoulders, so that rule isn’t enforced, either.
26. Guests always go first in my home
Stayed with a neighbor during a family emergency, estranged grandparent was deathly ill far away and parents had to make some last second arrangements for child care.
The neighbor had 5 kids. The Dad had a “one tub of water for the family” rule.
This was in a bathtub with a shower and when a normal water bill for a large family would be under $40 a month so I still don’t get why.
Dad would bathe, then Mom, then oldest to youngest. Guests last. The water was cold, dark with muck and had a greasy film of skin cells on it by my turn.
I was 6 or 7 and tried to refuse but they shouted at me and I gave in. I gagged the whole time.
25. Gotta watch out for Saxdad
Went to a friends house.
Well-to-do kind of family, straight-laced, all that jazz. Dad came home and started practicing saxophone in the front room. When I asked a question, my friend told me to shut up, and that nobody is allowed to make any noise while his dad practiced saxophone.
Just as this short conversation was exchanged his dad burst through the door and told us all to shut up because whispering really put him off his saxophone playing.
His son/my friend started to cry.
His dad played for 3 more hours. We just sat in silence because this was before mobile phones and I couldn’t get collected until later that afternoon. I was asked not to tell anyone else at school, but enough people had been and experienced what I had experienced so everyone knew not to disturb this kids dad when he’s playing his saxophone.
24. This lady thought she was playing The Sims
A friend threw a housewarming party and we were all excited about attending, but she wouldn’t actually let us into the house.
Instead, she herded us all into her garage and locked us in there. There was a door in the garage that led into the kitchen that she would only unlock if someone wanted the bathroom.
She would then escort the person to the toilet and stand outside the door until they were done, take them back to the garage and lock the door again.
The garage was empty as well. Not even so much as a deck chair or box to sit on.
The guests did not stay long.
I left in under an hour and the rest not long after. She was offended after she put so much “effort” into having us over.
23. This is 3rd-degree nuts
Anytime I was over at my friend’s house and we would go outside and play, I would have to knock on the door each time to come back in, even if I had been there for a while or if I had just walked in with their kid.
Their mother kept tabs on exactly how much I ate or drank while I was there and expected me to work for whatever they had given me.
I had accidentally left something by the door and I realized after I got a few steps away from their porch so I just opened the door and reached in to grab it.
Her mother grabbed my arm and jerked me back into the house and screamed how I was a guest at their house and that I was to always knock before entering, how I was a rude child, she didn’t care that I was just there and what I grabbed was mine etc. I had known this woman my entire life.
We lived in the same neighborhood, she knew all of my extended family and treated me like I was some stranger.
That was my last day playing over there.
22. That’s not where pancakes go, though
I grew up in Mexico. My school had a lot of exchange programs abroad, so in 9th grade, I went to Boston. I stayed with a guy from the HS and his dad.
Pretty weird family. But the strangest thing was that his father told me that I could not flush pancakes in the toilet. He literally meant pancakes.
It was not a euphemism, because I asked his son about it and he said “Yeah, there was an incident once”
21. These are people that end up on the news for some reason
I landed a summer babysitting job when I was 15 or 16, and got yelled at because I took Cheetos, Doritos, and Pretzels and put them all in the same bowl.
They were snack sized bags, and I’d eaten the whole bowl full, but there must’ve been “crumb evidence” for Sherlock Mom.
She said, “We don’t mix our food in this house”. And then she fired me soon after because she said she wasn’t comfortable with me doing stuff like that around her kids.
20. This is just abusive
I wasn’t allowed to sleep on the couch, and I wasn’t allowed to nap during the day.
However, I was super sick one day and had to come home from school early. My stepmom told me to stay in my room for the day.
I wasn’t allowed to come out.
Later after she had left for work and the house was empty I went out for a glass of water.
I started feeling lightheaded. So, I sat down on the kitchen floor with my water and started sipping it before fainting.
I woke up to her screaming at me for sleeping on the kitchen floor.
19. They turned real life into a bad mobile game
I had a friend back in elementary school who asked me to spend the night at this house. The whole ordeal was pretty weird.
The first rule when I got into his house was that guests had to go straight to the room of the kid they were visiting ( he had 3 or 4 siblings ) and they had to stay there unless they had to go to the bathroom.
Then my friend had to go tell his parents and I had to wait until one of them came to escort me. The whole stay-in-the-room thing wouldn’t have been so bad were it not for the next rule.
The next rule was that the younger kids got tents in their rooms instead of beds. Not camping tents, but those kiddy house/bed tents that were not so popular in the 80s and 90s.
That was the only furniture in the room. They had clothes in the closet, but each of their rooms had a big cardboard box ( like old TV boxes ) where their mom would lay out their clothes for the week.
One stack in the box was school clothes, play clothes, and pajamas for Monday, the next for Tuesday, etc.
Another lame rule was that the guest ( or prisoner ) could only play with whatever was in a box the parents set in the room.
So we had a few ancient action figures, 2 hot wheels, and some board games with half the pieces missing.
The rule that blew me away even then, was that snacks for the guests of the younger children ( my friend had a sibling close to his age ) were cans of tuna, brought to the bedroom with like 5 saltine crackers.
And you ate out of the freakin’ can. We had to spread napkins on the floor and eat over them. Once we were done, he had to fold the napkins and place them in the can and take them to the kitchen.
My friend also told me some of the other house rules. The younger kids weren’t allowed to use the radio, TV, or phone. I can’t remember if it was age-based or grade based, but there was a system to how they got stuff in their rooms and “privileges”.
The next step up from his level ( middle school or age 13 or so, I can’t remember how it worked ) got to use the radio and got regular furniture.
The next step up got what all us normal kids had, like the use of the TV and phone, a bed, and able to decorate their own rooms.
It made for a terrible night, especially watching his highschool-age sister walk down the hallway to her room with a plate of pizza rolls and a glass of Coke to talk on her phone and watch TV.
And it wasn’t like we were in a 2 bedroom house or a single wide trailer. We were in a huge house where all the kids had their own rooms, the dad made good money, and they had new cars in the driveway.
To this day I still can’t figure out whether his parents were just weird or if they hated kids.
18. That’s unnatural
Once when I was 8 or 9, I went to a friend’s house and we were playing board games on the floor while her parents sat on the couch nearby.
As I leaned over to reach something, I farted. Nothing loud, nothing obnoxious. Well, CrazyMum is like ‘What was that? Excuse me, what the absolute heck was that?
Who did that? I’m sorry, but we do not fart in this house’.
I’m sitting there like oh haha just waiting for her to break character and laugh or something.
Nope. She then just left the room and didn’t come back. My friend’s dad took me home later. So basically their family house rule was… just not to fart…
17. New rule: Just don’t come home
My dad married a really crazy woman for a couple of years who was an obsessive neat freak.
We had three doors in our house. You could come into the foyer through the ‘front’ door, into the kitchen through the garage and into the living room through the sun room door from the backyard.
First I was told not to come in through the backyard because I could track mud inside. Fairly normal. Then I was asked not to use the front door because it was ‘decorative’ and she didn’t want anyone seeing us use it.
Weird, but fine.
THEN I was told that she didn’t want anyone to be in the kitchen because it was ‘her space’. So at this point every time I entered the house I would have to break some rule for some reason.
And nope, she did not make exceptions for being in the kitchen right after I got home.
16. Who rations toilet paper
A friend I visited a few times when I was a kid had really strange parents.
One weird thing was when my mum called his mum to arrange a time, his mum said that she’d like it if I brought a shirt I’d already worn to their house.
She said they had a rescue dog that went nuts around new people and would keep it in the bathroom for my first visit, then put my shirt in its bed so it got used to my scent for next time.
I did it but the dog still went nuts.
There were wacky bathroom rules like if I had to go she’d say “one or two”?
Then she would carefully count the number of toilet paper squares and hand it to me. This was particularly embarrassing since I had a little crush on my friend and he was always there to see me say what I had to do.
It was never enough, I always, always ended up poking a finger through the TP and they never had soap! I had to wash my hands with shampoo, even worse, once it was dog shampoo.
I hated it there.
15. Welcome to the Christmas basement club, brother
At one of my ex-girlfriend’s house on Christmas day, both myself and my girlfriend’s sister’s boyfriend were told to go down into the basement while the rest of their (extended and immediate) family opened presents.
I had never met this guy before and we were the only two people down there, all because the older members of the family didn’t want “outsiders” to see what they had bought their relatives (did they think we were going to steal something)?
. There were something like 35 people in the house, so while I thought we would only be shunned for a few minutes, we ended up staying in the basement for TWO HOURS before my girlfriend called us back upstairs.
Apparently, the guy I was stranded with had been there for multiple Christmas celebrations and was usually told to just go sit by himself. This was a normal thing for this family.
Joke’s on them, though – I had a much better time playing pool with the guy than I ever would have interacting with their family, who I came to discover over time were really bitter, uncaring people.
14. Cinderella is that you
A friend of mine had a SUPER mean and strict step mother. Here are a few “rules” I can remember from her house.
She had to make her bed every day, but the dust ruffle had to be so many inches from the floor and even around the bed.
The sheets and comforter had to be done just so. If it wasn’t she would come in and rip them all off the bed and make my friend redo it.
We were only allowed to play with one item at a time. For instance, if we wanted to play Barbies, we each were only allowed to take one out of the box at a time.
If we wanted to switch out-say a child doll or a Ken doll, the Barbie had to get put back into the box.
They had phones in every room.
The only phone I was ever allowed to use was in the creepy basement. Also, we were only allowed to use the bathroom in the creepy basement which sucked since there was one right next to my friend’s room.
The last I can remember is that she was only allowed to have 1 friend allowed to play in the house. She was allowed to have 2 friends play in the backyard.
Never any more than two.
13. The only rule in Goldeneye should be “No Oddjob”
No attacking unarmed players in Goldeneye. After taking an easy kill and being told of the house rule, I decided to go karate chop only and told them I was fine with being shot at while unarmed.
They were fine with that adjustment to the rule until it turned out neither of them could hit someone running circles around them up close.
I was then told I was cheating.
12. Did he smell like teen spirit though
I went to a private Christian school, which was actually a pretty great place for me and much better than the public schools I attended before that.
But there were always a couple of super strict parents around the school.
I never went to his house or talked to his parents, but this one kid came to school super tired one day with a horrible case of bed-head, wearing the same clothes he wore the day before.
He said his parents found the Nirvana tape (this was the late 90’s) he borrowed from one of the kids at school and made him sleep in the back yard in a tent.
He had to dig a hole to use the bathroom and he had to eat back there as well (they did bring him food, though).
They weren’t going to have their son listening to that devil music. I think he was in the back yard for a couple of weeks.
11. It’s a dishWASHER, not a dishRINSER
A now ex-friend of mine lives with her parents, we were pretty close at the time but she usually hung out at my place. She invited me over to her place for the weekend for once which was strange but hey why not right?
A few days before the weekend she sent me a bunch of messages asking what I wanted to eat, I told her I was down for whatever and that I’d gladly cook for us.
She wanted me to give her a list of acceptable foods. I told her I don’t really work like that and if she needed it to be itemized why not come up with the menu herself?
Weekend starts, were hanging in the living room and she says she wants to order food, her parents gave her some money which was nice of them.
She wants to order from a local Chinese place, but the food is crazy expensive. I tell her let’s order from somewhere else.
Nope:
She’s only allowed to order from a list of approved restaurants, and that was the only one open at 8 pm on a Friday.
The evening goes fine, the next morning I get up and she’s not awake yet.
I pour myself some cereal, I used the “wrong” milk.
Later in rinsing dishes for the dishwasher, it turns out they need to be completely cleaned before they’re allowed into the washer.
Like with soap and everything.
I told her why don’t we just hand dry them as they’re clean already, her response “This is why I don’t invite people over”.
Later when I’m unloading the dishes and putting them away she gets mad again, I’m not putting them away in the right order.
I’m not sure which rules were hers or her parents, she was a strange girl.
10. Snitches get stitches, little bro
I was friends with a very sheltered kid when I was 10.
I was playing video games with him and after I got rekt in a particular game, I exclaimed: “Aw man, what the hell”?! My friend and his little brother both froze in terror after that and the little brother ran out of the room fast.
I asked my friend what was up and he said very meekly, “We’re not allowed to swear…”
The little brother came back and sat down, followed closely by some very loud stomping footsteps. My friend’s mom came into the room and said “Did you just swear?
! There is ABSOLUTELY no swearing in this house! Do I make myself clear”?!
I was in 4th grade which is around the age that you learn all the swear words and use them a lot because you think it’s cool to swear.
I was even on the fence on if “hell” was even a swear or not, but I let it slide and said, “Yes ma’am.
I’m sorry”.
A little while later dinner was ready, so they called us to the dining room to eat. On the way over, I passed through the living room and saw a really big crazy looking sculpture.
I pointed and asked, “What the heck is that”?
Again I was met with the deafening silence as my friend looked at me with his mouth agape.
His mother exclaimed from the dining room. “That’s it! You’re outta here! I told you, no swearing”!
Perplexed I replied, “What?! I didn’t swear!
I said heck, not hell”!
That set her off even more. “Heck is a swear word too, and since you’re not respecting our rules then you need to leave”!
So, I walked home and was never allowed back at their house. I stopped being friends with the kid since it was already a bit of a stretch based on how goody-goody he was.
A few years later when I was in 8th grade, I finished my tennis practice after school and I was leaving the school to walk home.
I lived about 3/4ths of a mile away. The kid was sitting outside of school on the bench and he was quietly crying to himself.
Since he was crying, I walked over to him and said, “Whoa, hey Tom, what’s going on man, are you alright”?
In between gasps of tears, he said, “My mommy is supposed to pick me up, but I don’t know where she is”!
“What time was she supposed to pick you up”?
“4:00”. It was 4:30 which meant he was on this bench for half an hour.
“Well, come on, you can walk with me.
Your house is just a few blocks past mine. I walk home every day, it’s no problem”.
“I can’t”! He was still crying and made these long gaspy cries when he talked.
“Why not? Sure you can! It’ll take like 15 minutes and you’ll be home, no problem. Come on”!
“I’m not allowed to”! More crying.
“Alright man,” I was agitated at this point, “Have fun crying on a bench then”.
The kid was smart and did very well academically, but we’re in our 30’s now and after college, it seems like he never really did anything with his life.
According to Facebook, he’s not in a relationship, works at a grocery store, and still lives in his hometown which makes me wonder if he ever even moved out of his parents’ house.
With how insulated his parents protected him, I would be surprised if he had the life skills to be able to order a coffee from Starbucks.
9. Just let kids play video games, it’s not that big of a deal
Back around 2009, I had these friends. Their mom was a collective 370 ish pounds and had adopted all 5 of her kids, so she had this really narcissistic attitude about it.
Weird, I know.
The rules were so weird that to this day they blow my mind.
We weren’t allowed to leave the rooms at late night or early morning, because it MIGHT wake her up. The few times she woke up, she’d fly into a rage and scream at us kids (all under 10) for upwards to an hour and then make us (even me, the visitor) clean the house without giving us food or water.
If we weren’t punished, we had to stay outside ALL day, save maybe lunch and dinner. We weren’t allowed inside for anything, and if we went in, we’d be yelled at and told to clean.
Pertaining to rule 2, we had a set quota of water we had to drink.
Her kids were given pretty big jugs, so my siblings and I had to buy our own. The problem was, we couldn’t go back inside for cold water after we drank the jug, so we were forced to drink hose water. And when we were allowed back in, we were asked how much we drank.
Anything under 4 was met with yelling and punishment of, you guessed it, cleaning.
Her golden kid was allowed to do anything she wanted. She wasn’t the oldest of the 5, but her word was law and her mom treated her like a goddess. We weren’t allowed to contradict her.
When I was 8, I was really into LEGO Star Wars.
This led to my friends getting it too, and we would play it together at their house. One day, we were told no video games, and I wasn’t entirely sure about the rule so I asked if she said no video games in the morning, or if she meant all day.
They just kinda went all scared and didn’t say much, but then I go out to eat, and their mom was like “you told them you wanted to play video games all day? After I said no?
You realize I have to tell your mom now”. And little me was so scared that I was in huge trouble.
During this time my mom was emotionally compromised.
Severe depression, anxiety, the whole nine yards. Nowadays she’s my number 1 supporter, and she heavily apologized for this later, but when I got home, I got spanked and grounded. Later, (as in, a couple of years later) she told me that she was told that I threatened the two boys about the video games and said I wouldn’t be their friends if they didn’t let me play. And the mom made this a huge deal.
Posted it on social media, posted an 8-year-old kid as an abusive and violent person, so much so our church got involved. It was a massive mess, and I’m glad that part of my life is past.
8. Always wear clean underwear, just in case
I was dating this girl that had this ‘no shoes rule’ in her apartment, ok, that’s pretty common in a lot of countries.
She was an excellent cook, she asked me to invite my best friend and his GF over and she’d cook for us.
My buddy is a little wacky, but when they got there and we told him the ‘no shoes rule’, he acted a little put-out, like it was some big imposition to take your shoes off.
A few weeks later the 4 of us were getting to be good friends and my buddy invited us over for dinner. When we got there he and his GF were not wearing pants, he was in boxers and she was in panties, he said:
“no pants, we have a no pants rule in this house”.
Luckily my GF thought it was pretty funny and we complied. She did say that if he came up with a topless rule she was bowing out.
7. Good luck getting me out of bed before noon
I had a friend who was filthy rich. They had quite a few strange rules in their house.
On Saturday and Sunday morning (when I stayed at his house), we had to be out of bed by 7 AM, be eating breakfast by 7:
30 and be out the door to play outside by 8 AM. We were not allowed to play inside until after the sun went down, and we were also not allowed to leave their gated community.
We were both nerds with no interest in sports or physical activity in general, so we pretty much just loitered around the community playground and talked all day.
Obviously, the exception to the above was when it came time for meals or needing to use the bathroom. We could come back to the house to use the bathroom but were only permitted to use the bathroom for 5 minutes.
I didn’t dare find out what the consequences were for not finishing quick enough. We were also not permitted to touch any food or drinks for any reason unless it was prepared by their housekeeper.
They had their own personal pool, but children weren’t allowed in. Ever.
The only game system he had was a Game Boy, and he had to turn in his batteries to his mom after his allotted gaming time was up, and he would have to ask for them back.
I had my own games (like an N64) but I was not allowed to bring them. The first time I brought it, she confiscated my entire bag and wouldn’t let me have it back until I left.
6. Is this a reference to something?
My friend’s dad in elementary was a weirdo. I went over after school one day and the guy was chilling on the sofa drinking an RC Cola.
What a weirdo, right?
But seriously, we walked in and set our bags down and all. We’re making our way outside to go play when he stopped us – me, in particular, because his son knew the rules – once we are outside, before anything else, we were to approach the dog and offer our thanks for allowing us to use of the yard.
The dog was “king” of the yard… in reality, it was just a big furry loveball who wanted attention.
5. Now I want a steak
I had a boyfriend who would only eat one thing at a time.
For example, he’d eat his steak, then the potato, then the vegetables. Never mixing it up, and never combining anything into one mouthful.
I never noticed, because I don’t care how people eat, but boy did he notice that I don’t eat my food in any order whatsoever.
I’ll even eat steak and potato in the same mouthful!
We were together for 3 years, and it always baffled him how I ate. He’d look at me all astonished, “You’re done with your steak!
”? No. No, sweetie. I’m just eating some vegetables at the moment. I’ll get back to the steak.
4. Luckily for me I only wear black
Just moved into a house w five of my guy friends and we made a rule that if you wear yellow in the house you must be beaten by the yellow whiffle ball bat.
Without rules there is chaos and we can’t have that.
3. Is there such a thing as a good landlord
I had a landlord rent me a room. I paid first and last months rent.
When moving in he told me the room he showed me wasn’t available. He showed me a converted CLOSET. Literally a 12′ x 4′ space. He knew I was stuck.
His rules?
No kitchen usage, no BATHROOM usage, no strong smells (he complained about my roll-on deodorant being way too strong).
I had to be out by 6 AM, couldn’t return until 10 PM.
For $600 a month.
None of this was disclosed or remotely reasonable. We had a very heated argument when he told me all this, but at the time I had no choice.
I stayed there for two months. He constantly made threatening comments to me, refused me access to the house at random intervals, and I caught his friends stealing from me twice.
He said ‘lawyer up’.
I did. I won.
He threw me out after court. Literally drove back, took stuff from my parked car by smashing a window and sold it to his friend.
Then he threw everything else in the yard and urinated on it.
We went right back to court a week later. He ended up losing the place because he was subletting without permission.
He still has bedbugs from a friend he let stay. I see him occasionally, covered in bites. He always threatens me with more ‘legal action because you took my house’, but I figure he isn’t worth the trouble.
2. Big Brother is watching
My friend’s parents had surveillance cameras in every room, including their kid’s bedrooms. Anytime we were in a room without a parent, the surveillance camera had to be on.
There were many times I’d walk into the kitchen after being in the game room or my friend’s bedroom and see the TV on streaming surveillance from the room I was just in (it even streamed sound)!. A friend of mine got kicked out of the house because he jokingly put a napkin over one of the cameras.
There were also times where if one of us said something the parents didn’t like while the cameras were on (they never told us when they were turned on either) a parent would burst into the room and yell at us for saying something they didn’t like.
Her parents were controlling abusers, to other people’s children as well as their own. Texts were monitored as well as all internet activity.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they also read their diaries. I’m aware this is abuse. It’s florid abuse. We’re all over the age of 18 now and they both no longer live with their mother (the son completely left the family, daughter still lives with the dad). There were no cameras in bathrooms but those were the only safe rooms.
No locks on doors. I was terrified of the parents from day 1 and still refuse to associate with either parent, as the father is known to contact my parents if I do/say things he doesn’t like.
1. Sink it is, then
This dude that managed local bands had a rule that only vegetarians could poop in his toilet.
Find somewhere else to poop if you eat meat.
