Since we were young we have always been told: “It’s rude to listen in on other people’s conversations.”
But that’s never really stopped anyone, has it?
I mean, sometimes you can’t help but overhear people who don’t know what an “inside voice” is. (I’m looking at you, Americans.) Other times you are bored, so you just hear things. And even more frequently, your apartment has really thin walls and there’s nothing you can do to avoid it.
Whatever the reason for the eavesdropping, we appreciate the stories.
42. Won’t somebody think of the children
While lifeguarding over the summer, I heard a conversation between two girls, roughly 8-12 years old, talking about how one of them was a furry.
Full-fledged, fursuit, fursona, going to furcons, etc. Their conversation goes on for a good few minutes, then the furry girl suggests the other to try it out and to Google furries.
Now, I have nothing against furries or what they do. I just found it a bit crazy that she knew about furry culture when she looked like she was in 5th/6th grade.
41. She’s not wrong though
Was getting my hair cut and overheard a pregnant woman asks her friend, “What do you think of the name ‘Jubilation’”?
“That sounds great if you’re planning on moving to Whoville”.
Sick Dr.-Seuss-inspired response, lady.
40. I can show you the world
There’s a guy in the dorm below me. He doesn’t know this but I can hear him through the vent in my floor.
He has a young sibling, I think, and he sings to her over the phone at night. I fall asleep to it sometimes.
39. This dude is my spirit animal
I was at a graduation party for my best friend when she graduated high school in ’07, and a boy she was hanging out with at the time was there.
He had to use my friend’s house phone to call his mom and the last thing he said to her before hanging up was, “I’m a grown man, mom, I’ll skateboard home”!
We still use that to this day.
38. Well… Don’t know where to go from that one
Was on the bus and a small girl and her father were sitting in front of me. The kid was misbehaving a bit and wouldn’t sit still even though her father would tell her to settle down several times.
Eventually, he lets out an exasperated, “Why won’t you do what I tell you to”? and the little girl answers, matter-of-factly:
“Mom always tells you to stop washing your balls in the sink but you still do it”!
Needless to say, they got off that bus very quickly as every single person around them was desperately trying not to laugh.
37. I honestly expected this to turn out differently
I was at the movies.
“Just wait until your dad hears about this”.
“Mom! It’s not that big of a deal”.
“What you did was disgusting. It was a betrayal of my trust.
It was a betrayal of everything I believe in but most of all you betrayed yourself. Once you have the two together, you can never enjoy the one without the other”.
“Mom”! Drawn out into about 30 syllables.
“It’s no skin off my nose. I’ve never done what you did. You are never going to go back to a time that you haven’t done this”.
At this point I am dying to know what this kid did and I’m trying to stay near enough in the crowd to hopefully find out when they are joined by the father.
The mother points accusingly at the kid,
“He had a soda in the movie theater”.
“Mom, it wasn’t a soda; it was a lemonade”!
“You’ve mixed sugar and the movies. Now you will constantly want to snack while you’re watching a movie. You know I raised you never to eat in front of a screen”.
My favorite part of this conversation was the roller coaster of emotions I experienced. First the curiosity. I had to know what this kid had done.
Then “Well, that’s a little over the top”. Then finally, “When is the last time I saw a movie without a candy or soda?
Why did my mother never tell me about this”?
36. Should have paid more attention
My freshman roommate in college would talk on the phone 24/7, to anyone and everyone. His girlfriend, the girl he was cheating on his girlfriend with, and my personal favorite, some random conversation that I was barely paying attention to when suddenly:
“Oh! I forgot to tell you…your daughter broke up with me yesterday”!
To this day I kick myself for not paying attention from the beginning
35. Someone call the cops, there’s been a murder
I was in a bar one night and a couple were breaking up.
She was yelling at him because he didn’t want to buy her another drink, because lo and behold she was sloshed and being a real jerk.
To finish her tirade she screams in a high pitched annoying voice:
“…And every time we banged I faked it”!
To which he looked at her deadpan and calmly asked:
“What makes you think I was doing you for your benefit”?
Drop mic. Walk off to applause and laughter!
34. Well that’s comforting
When I was an undergrad, we lived in a city apartment that shared a front porch/balcony with another apartment.
My bedroom window opened out onto this porch. Not long after we moved in, I overheard a long conversation between my neighbor and a friend of his, sitting out on the porch, about how my neighbor had built a time machine (much specific information on building it with PVC and copper wire) and had traveled to the future.
His comment, without any trace of irony, was, “It’s funny, though, the future was really just a lot like the present. People were just walking down the street doin’ the same stuff they do right now.
No reason to be scared of the future, man”.
33. It’s true, all of it
In Costco and they had giant crab for sale
Little girl: Dad what do they eat?
Dad: Little girls called Megan.
32. And that’s why they call it bio-fuel
A few kids were debating on what happened to the poop after you flushed it on the train. One believed it exploded on impact with the rails, another debated the possibility of it being shot out of the side like a cannon, and another knew it was used to fuel the train.
31. Way to be a good teacher, though
Two of my students were talking about this guy texting one of the girls, saying they think he’s texting her to get to her friend who recently got her phone taken away.
I chalk it up to middle school drama, day goes on.
Later I hear the girl who had her phone taken away say, “I think I’m scarred.
” and something didn’t sit right with me about it. I circled back and was like, “Hey kid, need to talk to me about anything”?
She mulled out over for a bit and asked for a private convo.
Turns out this guy had sent a third girl an inappropriate pic, and oh yeah he’s not a guy their age, it’s their teacher for an out of school extracurricular.
That was not a fun day.
30. Forrest Gump has nothing on this dude
I was pulling up to an intersection with a bus stop right as the light turned green. I crept by this stop and all I heard was an old dude say, “And that’s how the guy took my leg”!
I look out my passenger window to see him with a prosthetic in his hand, sitting in a wheelchair, facing the other people at the bus stop.
I don’t know what story they heard, but it was certainly a good one
29. The great clam caper of 2013
Didn’t hear the full conversation but I walked in on two employees at a convenience store with the conversation ending with the phrase “…and that’s when we hid the clams”.
28. What if it was just mayonnaise
Once listened to a story a woman was telling her friend sitting next to me in a café.
She became suspicious of her husband cheating on her when she was helping him unpack from a business trip and noticed a weird white stain on his shirt.
She told the whole story of her Googling how to figure out what it was, which I think included using specific light and stuff.
Never actually got to hear the ending tho, unfortunately.
27. I’m sorry, what did you say?
I was once in a Starbucks in Boston and witnessed a break-up which was immediately followed a failed proposal attempt. It was the craziest thing.
The dude was very into her and her body language did not reply in a copacetic manner.
He confessed his love to her, she replied that it wasn’t gonna work and she might need some time. He replied, “We have the rest of our lives to figure it out, so you have time”. Then he got down on a knee and pulled out a ring.
She stood up and said, “This is what I am talking about! You don’t listen”. She asked him to stand up. He said with tears in his eyes, “ Why? I am still waiting for an answer”.
She gathered her things and left out the back.
The man sat back down and finished his Frappuccino while crying. I refer to the story as the ‘Saddest Cold Coffee Beverage Ever’.
26. Something tells me that she could be anywhere in the world, literally anywhere, except Iowa
Just last week, I was in line for customer service at the grocery store with my girlfriend.
Sketchy looking dude comes up to the woman in line behind us, says hi, and she says something to the effect of, ” I don’t think I should be talking to you right now, I don’t even know where my daughter is…”
They started talking quieter and we couldn’t make out all of what they were saying, but we at one point heard her say something along the lines of, “Why can’t you just admit that she might be in Iowa? ” Unfortunately our turn to get helped came up, and we had to abandon the conversation.
Wish we would have been able to hear more.
25. Classic dad who didn’t want a pet
I was eating beside two older gentlemen at a bar, and I hear one of them say something like,
“That stupid cat follows me everywhere. I’ve told my granddaughter to keep it away from me, but everyone thinks its funny!
I can’t get away from it”!
There’s silence between the two, and then the second older man laughs, “You secretly love that little hairball, don’t you”?
The guy lets out a giant, irritated sigh and sullenly admits, “Yes”.
24. Just take the money and go on a nice trip instead
Coming home on Amtrak from visiting my family a few years ago. A young 20-something couple sits behind me, and they clearly have just gotten engaged.
They’re happy, they’re talking to each other in just the most loving, affectionate way, and discussing plans for their upcoming wedding. It’s all good, this is clearly a happy and excited couple, and you could tell this was probably the first discussion they’d had about their wedding plans.
So the girl happily brings up something about what they should have on the menu, like “two or three choices for the adults, but then a fourth option that the kids would like”.
And the guy goes, “Kids? I don’t want kids there”. Instantly, the temperature in the train car drops about 10 degrees. She goes, “You don’t?
How can we not let kids there? We have family members with kids! Kids have to be allowed”!
Then he says – and this is a point I thought was very valid – he says, “Having kids at the wedding or having a child-free wedding makes it a very different kind of ceremony.
It’s not just a matter of ‘kids are allowed/kids aren’t allowed’. It changes the tone of the whole thing”, which – actually I agree with.
I’m not married, but I’ve been to plenty of weddings that were kid free and some that were kids allowed, and they were both very different.
The train ride was 3.5 hours, and the conversation just got worse and worse the whole way. Again, to give the prospective groom credit, he stayed very calm and tried to be rational about it.
She went from glowingly happy to less happy, to attempted neutrality to furious. By the time we got to our destination, she was crying and yelling at him.
He made points that “if we don’t have kids at our wedding, it doesn’t mean we don’t like kids, or don’t love our family members who have kids.
It just means that if we want a more adult, intimate wedding, it’s something we need to strongly consider”.
I wondered about them later on, if that was something that was clearly a deal breaker for both of them.
23. Gets weirder once you start talking about killing kids for the meat
I was in line for a rollercoaster years ago when I overheard a 12-year-old and her even younger sister talking to two nice strangers, all standing in line behind me.
The 12-year-old was talking about how she lives on a farm with her grandparents, her little sister, and her newborn kid. She goes on and on about her young kid, and how her grandparent’s home school her so she has time to her raise and take care of her kid and how her little sister is helping too.
She goes on to describe how little and precious and sweet her kid is and how much she loves her.
I spent the entire time in line stunned and speechless and impressed by how engaged and unbothered the two strangers were during the whole conversation (asking to see pictures etc).
It wasn’t until we got to the front of the line that I realized she meant kid… as in a baby goat.
22. What uhh… What translation of the bible you reading there, chief?
Gangster type guy sitting behind me on the bus, on his phone, rationalizing attacking his ex girlfriend and anybody who got in the way to a friend of his trying to talk him out of it.
The gangster was telling his friend that this was something that Jesus would do. The next few days I kept an eye on local news and thankfully no reports of anybody being attacked.
21. Professional hackers
In an old electronics class, we were playing with spectrum analyzers and discovered that the old cell phones broadcast on open frequencies. If you found the spike on the spectrum and tuned into it, you could hear what they were saying.
Happened to tune into a couple of girls calling some guy so they could come over and smoke some ‘doobies’. By the time they were done me and my lab partner had the entire class clustered around listening in.
Think half of them were hoping to find out where they were going so they could crash the party.
20. Look at Mr. Big Stacks over here
My wife and I were at a pretty fancy restaurant, where they have their wine list on iPads.
We were in a celebratory mood and decided to splurge a bit and get some glasses of wine that were $15 a pop.
Shortly after we got our drinks, this old guy walks in with two young ladies.
The sommelier comes up and asks if he had any questions about the wine list….the old dude says, “I trust you, just bring out something that’s reasonably priced”.
Sommelier looks back a bit baffled and says, “I’m sorry sir, but would you kindly let me know what reasonably priced would be”?
Old dude puts the wine list down, calmly smiles and says, “Anything under $5,000 a bottle will be just fine, thanks”.
Ended up ordering THREE bottles over the course of our dinner. Crazy and entertaining all at once
19. Let’s get some aloe in here for this burn
On a bus in Germany two teenage girls are talking together when a teenage boy comes onto the bus.
Throughout the ride he checks out her figure from behind at which point the girl loudly proclaims “dude, stop staring at my butt you creep”!
to which he replies without missing a beat “Sorry but your butt is far nicer than your face”.
18. This sounds like a way cooler version of the story
On the bus outside Sunday school with two preteen boys:
‘And then he ate their brains for his dinner’
‘Dude, that’s not what happened’
‘It is, he rose from the dead and then he ate them’!
‘Yeah, he came back from the dead but that doesn’t mean he was a zombie’
‘Then why did they call it the last supper’?
17. That’s a pretty solid name, to be fair
While eating at a fast-food joint way out in west Texas during a family road-trip, I took note of a small group of friends (20s-30s men) with large tin boxes full of trading-cards (probably Magic).
They weren’t sitting too far from us, and the place was quiet enough that we could overhear their discussions fairly well.
At one point, though, one guy began relaying a story about a turtle that he had retrieved from the middle of a road (given the locale, I’d assume it was some sort of desert tortoise).
The man had apparently taken the turtle home and placed him in a specific spot in one room, then left briefly to do something elsewhere in the house.
Upon returning to the turtle, he was caught very much off-guard by the fact that the turtle had somehow meandered from his original spot to a new location surprisingly far from where he’d started.
The distance he had wandered was evidently so great that the man was positively astounded by the athleticism of this turtle.
The surprise he expressed when recounting this rescued()?
turtle’s accomplishment was adorable enough, but then he proudly declared what he had named the animal: “Squirmin’ German Herman the Magical Teleporting Turtle”.
Immediately, I erupted into a barely-stifled fit of giggles.
I found myself straining to keep quiet while I almost got a chicken-nugget bolus into my windpipe. That would have made for a very, very awkward eulogy…
16. It’s impossible to not read this conversation as Cheech and Chong
My high school had a lot of hippies.
One day in class I overheard the following,
Dude 1: Hey, so man, you got my stuff in your car?
Dude 2: Yeah, man, I got it.
You got the money?
Dude 1: Well, I do, but it’s all in quarters.
Dude 2: Quarters? What am I supposed to do with $100 worth of quarters?
Dude 1: Hey man, you just said I needed to bring you $100, you didn’t say it had to be in bills.
Dude 2: What… Where did you even get $100 worth of quarters?
Dude 1: Hey, look, do you want it or not?
Dude 2: Whatever man. Meet me in the xxx parking lot after 4th period.
15. That’s illegal
I was in a shoe store and a little girl was playing on the floor with her mom.
The mom kept asking her to stand up but the little girl would continue rolling around the floor. Finally, she rolled under her mom’s legs and looked up and said loudly WHY DONT YOU HAVE ON ANY PANTIES?
And the mom dragged her out of the store quickly.
14. Everybody knows the best movie ever is Raiders of the Lost Ark
Two guys making sandwiches at my local deli were arguing over what the best movie ever was.
One man was arguing that Kindergarten Cop was the best movie ever created, and the other was just arguing that it wasn’t. The one arguing that it wasn’t gave a couple of valid arguments that seemed easily deflected by the other man.
It eventually devolved into them shouting “IT’S NOT A TUMOR” at each other.
13. I want to believe this wasn’t planned
I was at the bathroom at my university, washing my hands and overheard a dude talking softly in one of the stalls.
(Stalls are completely closed with a wall in between them). When he stopped speaking, I heard the guy next to him talk in a similar way.
This went on for a few more seconds, until I heard one of them say “…in a minute, I’m in the bathroom right now”, followed by the other dude, “Haha yeah, me too”.
First dude, slightly louder already: “Wait, are you next to me then”? Second dude : (soft) “Possibly” (louder) “Hey Mark”! First dude, loud: “Hey man”! They both started hitting the wall to make a noise and started laughing.
To which I responded with, “You guys are so cute”, and then I left so they wouldn’t know who I am.
12. Heroes don’t always wear capes
While on a dinner boat ride in Memphis, Tennessee I was a lucky enough to be a few feet away from a man who was discussing his bus service business when hurricane Katrina hit the southern states.
When the flooding hit and people needed to be evacuated the government seized his buses to assist in the rescue. He mentioned that he gave everyone a brief demonstration to the military drivers on how to operate the bus before getting in his own bus and following the convoy which was destined for Louisiana.
For about a week or 2 he was down there assisting with transporting civilians out of the flood zone area and bringing in helpers & supplies to the area’s medical facilities.
Then Red Cross and/or more military support came in and he wasn’t needed. He drove his bus all the way back to Tennessee straight home and hugged his family.
It was one of the most emotional and mesmerizing stories I’ve ever heard of someone just dropping everything in a time of an emergency to assist others.
The whole time I’m just staring off port of the ship just watching the river for 20 mins while listening to him tell his tale.
11. Diablo isn’t gonna kill himself, you know
I’m sitting in my drinking spot at the bar and two rednecks are at the counter. I’m talking old, trucker hat wearing, flannel-skinned men who have seen more time in truck cabs than in the sunlight.
They’re both sitting with their Budweisers and talking heatedly. I usually overlook this sort of thing until one goes.
“Mayne, no. Y’gotta slot them FLAWLESS gems in your gear or t’other stats ain’t gonna optimize right.
Y’build for your play and THEN y’get online. Where’re yer skills right now”?
I guess Diablo 3 has a wide audience.
10. No talking in the men’s room is like, rule #1
A buddy and I were at a coffee shop, and he goes to take a leak as we’re leaving.
I’m standing inside because it’s cold outside, conveniently close enough to overhear him talking. To someone else. In the men’s room. And I mean, they’re at it for a while.
He comes out, and I’m just dumbfounded. “Did you just make a friend? In the men’s room”? I ask him, incredulously. And he just goes “Yeah, I’m a friendly guy, I make friends everywhere”.
Like its no big deal. He is, and he does, but this is obviously different.
“No no no,” I proclaim, “a men’s room should be like a Tibetan monastery:
a place of silent contemplation and focus”. Which is clearly the only sane stance on the issue.
But he refuses to accept it. “What’s the big deal?
I don’t know about you but I don’t need to use my mouth to aim. Why not have a friendly chat”?
I can’t process this.
It’s like when they interview the neighbors of a serial killer, and they all say he was such a normal guy, and they can’t believe he did those things.
That’s me. I am that neighbor. We’re not even leaving anymore, just standing there, at an impasse, while I reevaluate all of our past interactions, looking for the signs I had obviously missed.
It’s at this point that a girl breaks off from her group of friends as they’re leaving, makes eye contact with me, and says “I really liked your ideas about men’s rooms”.
I don’t comprehend. I was prepared for a “You dropped this” or maybe a “Would you sign this petition”? This is completely beyond the realm of expectations.
I manage a suave response. “Huh”? She smiles and reminds me: “Ya know, with the silent contemplation and stuff. That was really funny”. It was at this point that I realized these girls had been seated right around the corner and heard our entire idiotic conversation.
And apparently, I had come out of it looking good? Somehow? I pounce on the opportunity.
“Uhh, thanks”.
9. What do we say to the god of death? Not today
Was at a supermarket and noticed a dad and his small boy (approximately 6-7 years old).
The kid is sitting in the trolley his dad is pushing. He looks up to his dad randomly with wide eyes and says; “Daddy, we’re all going to die” Dad is shocked; “oh come on son, we’re okay.
Why do you say that”?
“I saw it dad, we’re all going to die”.
By this stage I’ve moved away from them. I was petrified for the rest of the day.
8. I should get myself a government job
As a consultant in government, you often wonder how some people would have decent jobs without the armor-plated protection of federal employment.
I overheard two women discussing a key meeting for the review and release of large sums of grant money.
These are public funds, and I’m an unapologetic socialist, so ineptitude in government really grinds my gears, because it gives the other side ammo.
Here’s a .45 slug:
“Why haven’t I seen you at the weekly Grants Review? We miss you”!
“I keep coming, but no one shows up…”
“Huh? We haven’t seen you for weeks.
What do you mean”?
“What time is it”?
“3 o’clock. Why”?
“Well I thought it was 2. Must have missed the clocks change”.
“So…”
“I’ve been showing up. Just texted with my sister mostly”.
“Honey, you need to change your watch”
“I kinda like this meeting though”.
My head nearly exploded. Then I thought – who could blame her?
7. Solid argument about the animals, though
I listened to a girl at a restaurant cry to a friend about a guy who I’m assuming she tried to date but he wasn’t into her.
She kept talking about snapchat points and how she had a lot, and then how she tried to get this guy to get a snapchat and that he wasn’t interested and she told him it was a fun way to send nudes and he said no thanks.
She kept crying and saying “HE DIDN’T EVEN WANT ME TO SEND HIM NUDES OVER SNAPCHAT!!”!
It was made funnier when I saw her as I was leaving and it was a girl from a speech class I took.
Her speeches were always horrible and full of emotions and zero facts. She did a persuasive speech about animal cruelty (because people need to be persuaded to think that being cruel to animals is bad.
.)? and her literal argument was, “Animals are precious baby angels, and we should never hurt their souls”.
6. Never understood nervous fliers, by the point you are in the air it’s too late to do anything about it
I was on a flight a few years ago and this lady on the plane was clearly nervous.
She was sitting two seats to my right and there was another guy between us. The lady was in her 50s it seemed, possibly a little older.
She started talking from the moment she sat down until the moment she stepped off the flight. Barely took a breath. While I’ve seen that before, I’ve never seen someone cover such personal subjects.
What’s worse, she was LOUD. I could see people looking back 4 or 5 rows ahead of us wondering what was going on and looking back at me laughing.
She talked about things like her sexual history, sexual preferences, went into great detail about menopause, and I’m pretty sure bowel movements came up at some point.
This went on for over 2 hours. I wish I had kept a record because I learned more about this woman in 2 hours than I think I know about most of my family members.
I identified her as a talker right off the bat and put my headphones on as soon as I sat down, but the guy next to me didn’t get them on in time and got sucked into the conversation.
He deserved a medal for his patience, he didn’t complain once. I chatted with her some but was tired from working all week and tried to tune it out without being rude.
Meanwhile, the other passengers (I was on the aisle) kept looking at me and trying to get me to shut her up. I had one lady motion 3 or 4 times for me to make her be quiet.
I’m not entirely sure what they thought I was going to do and honestly, they annoyed me more than Ms. Chatty Nervous did.
After we landed, some older lady with a southern accent came up and said, “Excuse me.
I want you to know that you are so rude”. Ms. Nervous more or less said, “shut up lady, everyone else was patient with me being nervous and talking, what makes you so special?
I’m from New Jersey and I’ll beat you”. Ms Complainer looked at me as if I was the one that had offended her and stormed off.
She was actually a really nice lady and I caught up with her afterward some more. She just was a nervous flier and her way of dealing with it was to talk about anything that came into her mind.
ANYTHING.
5. Imagine breaking up at an IHOP
My ex-wife and I were on a road trip years ago. It was getting late and we were both hungry, so we pulled off on the nearest exit and hit an IHOP.
We got seated in a booth, right behind a cute old couple. We started to go over the menus when I heard the lady say something along the lines of, “I can’t believe you’d do this to me after 50 years”.
At that point, we both knew something was about to go down.
We placed our order and remained in complete silence after that. The lady was ripping into her poor little husband, who was taking baby bites from his bacon with no responses whatsoever.
She accused him of cheating on her with one of her friends while she was in the hospital. She went on to say how none of their children even like him and they’re just waiting for him to die so they can have their inheritance.
She said she was going to leave immediately and take him to the cleaners in a divorce. She continued to call him names and throw around accusations, all while he chewed on this same piece of bacon.
This went on for about an hour and I heard not one word from that guy.
4. To be fair, she’s never going to see any of you again
On public transit, I heard a girl on her cell phone loudly having a conversation with her friend.
She’d just left her boyfriend’s family Christmas holiday celebration where she seemingly clashed with one or more of his family in one respect or another about things to do with her relationship with the guy.
She’d apparently spoken to him about it, and he suggested they speak to the offending parties and sort out the problem/confrontation…and she tells her friend…
” I told him I was embarrassed to have a conversation with strangers about our personal life like that. Airing dirty laundry in such a public setting.
I mean, how crass can you be”?
….she says loudly… on a bus with no less than 30 strangers who can hear this conversation about her personal life/dirty laundry because she can’t control the volume of her voice.
The irony was lost on her. I ever gave her the ‘raised eyebrow’ and she had no idea.
3. How does this even happen
I overheard two people’s epic encounter a while ago.
So a woman comes into the bakery and as soon as she steps in a man greets her. He proceeds to ask her about what’s new and how she’s been the last 20 years.
The woman obviously knew the guy and they engage in a 10 minute talk about their spouses, kids, and jobs basically everything new from the last 20 years.
Then they decide to meet up next weekend and have a cup of coffee…
The woman then asks him to say hi to his sister from her. And his response is:
“I don’t have a sister”.
At that point both their faces were priceless.
She asks him: “Wait? Your name is Pete right”?
He responds:
“ehh, no.. your name isn’t Karen?
I burst into laughter sitting a few meters away.
They had been talking to a complete stranger about the last 20 years of their lives.
They said bye to each other in an extremely awkward manner and went on their way.
2. If you are gonna be at Six Flags you might as well have some fun
I was in line at Six Flags several years ago and heard a man having a loud argument on the phone.
Next thing I know the dude just starts aggressively peeing himself, then stops to take pictures of his pants and the people in line around him.
He goes back to arguing on the phone screaming, “Is that what you wanted, you sicko? Let my family go”!
I don’t know what the deal was, I guess terrorists or something had his family. Super crazy situation.
The weirdest part though is I saw him later that day, definitely alone, and definitely having a good time on the Superman ride.
1. Yo that’s poor form
I used to be a chauffeur driving mostly Sedans and SUVs.
One day, I was called to pick up some people at a wedding. No problem. I wait for an hour and a half for them to come out.
It was hot and humid, but I made it work, well the whole party came streaming out, there was a TV-type camera and professional photographer, it was a huge deal.
For some reason, the friends of the groom wanted to push the car a short way, but that’s not really a problem. I turned the engine on and put it in neutral, and they pushed it a hundred feet maybe.
I turned the corner, put it in drive, and started driving for what was going to be an hour-long trip to the hotel.
I’m driving towards the interstate, which is a quarter mile away, the bride first starts complaining, and then crying about how the groom’s family ruined their wedding, all they wanted to do was drink, and that they out some of the ceremonies because of his family.
If she wasn’t being brutal to him on a day that he was hoping she’s be happy, she was just icy cold.
I don’t really call this eavesdropping because there was no way to avoid this conversation.
I’m in the front seat, driving; they’re in the back seat and she’s just berating him and his family. This went for the whole hour-long drive until I got them to the hotel.
Didn’t tip me, either.
